Burnt Cookies

          

           One of my favorite childhood memories is my mother burning cookies. 

           Growing up my mom had a knack for letting the cookies get slightly burnt. Her cookies would be baked with the perfect amount of crisp on the edges, leaving the inside all warm and soft. 

           I used to look up in awe at my mother and how she knew the perfect timing for cookies. She would pop out the slice and bake Pillsbury roll and count out enough so we all would have an extra to eat. 

           We would sit peering into the oven, standing on our tip-toes. The smell of these fresh baked goods would waft throughout the house. The timer would ding and my mother would carefully grab the tray with her oven mitt, giving us multiple warnings against touching the tray or the cookies until they had cooled off. 

            The hardest part was waiting. 

            When you have the mind of a child, patience is the hardest virtue of them all. Many times, despite our mother's multiple warnings, we would stuff a fresh cookie into our mouths. Following the initial reward, alligator tears would well in our eyes as our scorched fingers turned red and our tongues swelled from the hot chocolate chips.

            The hardest part of being a Christian sometimes is waiting. Many times I've found myself on the bathroom floor wanting to shake a fist at God for the waiting He was putting me through. It's hard to trust in God and embody patience when the world gives us a false narrative that things won't happen unless we make them. 

            The past few months I found myself trying to take matters into my own hands. I wanted to be the one in control, because the enemy was whispering into my ear that I couldn't trust God to do it. My mind became bitter and frustrated towards God. The enemy telling me that maybe God didn't actually care about my prayers or wasn't powerful enough to do what I was requesting. 

          God, being such a loving Father, allowed me to pursue my disobedience and end up very badly burned. Afterwards alligator tears welled in my eyes as I confessed to my friend that I felt yet again like an impatient child who had burned herself on the hot baking sheet.  

          I like to think I'm patient, but I'm not even close. Most days I am the child who sees the cookie they are desiring and allows her appetite to grow as each minute passes. I became engrossed in selfishness, not wanting to head to my loving parents instructions to wait. My sweet mother knew that rushing to get what my heart desired would only cause pain, but waiting until the proper time would bring such joy and fulfillment.

          So often God takes on the role of my mother in this story. He knows what great joy lays ahead of me only if I am willing to rest and trust in His plan for my life. Yet, I keep rushing to get what I desire and burn myself in the process. It is always after I experience the pain of rushing that I am reminded that making us wait is the most loving thing God can do. 

          I know in this life I'll never conquer the virtue of patience, but I hope God continues to refine me daily to be closer to it. I'll have many more days where I allow my selfish inner child to win and am burned, but God will so patiently bring me back to Him each time. He has so many things in store for me and you if we can only sit back and wait on Him. 

      "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified." Romans 8:28-30