Humble or Saying You're Not Able?

    "Oh, I'm really not that good at singing. They just had to use me since no one else tried out," I said  blushing as a friend complimented my part in the student worship band. She frowned back at me trying to convince me, but I kept automatically saying the same reply I had already made up in my head. I wasn't that good. They had to use me.

    For the longest time I was convinced that this was humbleness, belittling yourself. I was afraid to ever allow others to praise me in things I did, or to ever acknowledge to anyone that I had talent in anything. I made up replies in my head to easily use whenever a compliment from someone arose. I felt as if I had to justify that I really wasn't that good or that great at it. 

   All this belittling soon got to my head, and I started to believe what I was telling everyone. That I wasn't good enough, I wasn't talented enough, I wasn't skilled enough. Suddenly everything I once  felt I had a knack for was lacking. I thought by thinking less of myself as a person it meant I was trying to be humble.

   I became fearful of ever letting people know I thought myself talented at anything. It would mean I was vain, selfish. Instead of praising God and taking the glory to Him when allowing people to see the unique things He had skilled me in, I hid them. Trying to mask myself from ever being singled out from others for something distinctly special in me. 

   Let me tell you. This is not what humbleness is. It's not belittling yourself or your talents, or straying away from accepting compliments, or never allowing yourself to find happiness in your skills. 

    "True humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less." (C.S. Lewis) 

     I had grown up with an idea of what I thought humility was: never thinking highly of yourself, never seeking or wanting praise for anything good you do, never acknowledging that you were ever skilled in anything. Humbleness though, as C.S. Lewis said, isn't depreciating who God made you tone. God has all gifted us each with different abilities, which means we all have an aptitude for things that others don't. So while my sister is flexible and easily adapts to anything fitness wise, I  may have a better bent towards studying and smarts. It doesn't mean either of us is less than the other, but because of how God created us we work in different ways.

    I had to start allowing myself to be praised. God crafted and molded me into who He wanted me to be, and He wants his creations to be seen as praiseworthy. The difference is I wasn't accepting praise for what I had done in my own power, but what God has done through me. Singing on the stage for a worship band had nothing to do with me, I didn't create my vocal chords or abled them to carry a tune. That was God. The reason I'm good at anything is because God made me to be so I can ultimately bring glory back to Him.

   True humbleness isn't thinking of who God made us to be or the talents He blessed us with as less. Instead we are to use those gifts to ultimately praise Him, and people along the way are suppose to notice it. They are suppose to commend us in order for you to point it back to God who was the one who instilled it in you.

     "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourself" (Phil. 2:3). True humbleness is thinking of yourself less, to put the needs and wants of those around you above your own. To unselfishly be willing to love those around you even if cost you. Not seeking praise for the things you do for others, but when praise does come learning to point it back to God and acknowledging the unique skills He has blessed us with.

   So stop not allowing your talents to shine through, be who God created you to be. Allow yourself to start being praised and accepting compliments, pointing it back to God. Start putting others needs and wants above your own, start wanting to serve others even if it comes at a cost to you. Then you will truly experience what it means to be humble.

 
   - Rachel